Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
