Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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