therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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