Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
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I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
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Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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