Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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