She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
