you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
