I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
