i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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