She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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