when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
