talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
