actually, I'm a sock model
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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