Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
