Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
