you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
