I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize