Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize