Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
