turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i want to swaddle you in tequila
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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