But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
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