I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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