He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
