i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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