Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
