I skipped work to stalk him.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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