it wasn't lemon gatorade
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
