ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
