Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize