so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
He's on the porch naked. Help.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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