I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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