You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
that's an acceptable place to lick
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize
