Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
