Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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