i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
