I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You can't just leave with hair like that
I can't turn off my feet"
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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