Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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