I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
