You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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