whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
