Your tits are I can't wait for
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
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