this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
