Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Randomize
