Someone shit on the floor
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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