even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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