My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
This is classic penis vs brain.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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