Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
