jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
