I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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