U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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