Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
