Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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