"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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