Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize