I cockslap morals
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
