I showed him my bush... on skype.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
