it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I just googled if crying burns calories
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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