You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
