Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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