this beer tastes like vomit already
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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