do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
